5 Factors That Affect a Relationship’s LongevityNone By Malini Bhatia
You love each other; you’re married or in a stable relationship and you hope to live happily ever after, right? Well, guess what? Love is not the only ingredient that turns a ho-hum marriage into a fulfilling one. “Happily ever after” is a beautiful phrase that we hear in fairy tales, but in real life, hard work is required to attain that goal. Numerous factors affect a couple’s relationship, but with the right support, both you and your significant other can find marital success in the long run. Here are 5 factors that can have a major impact on your relationships longevity:
#1: Too Many Secrets Can Spell Trouble
It's okay to keep a couple of things to yourself, but if you have too many secrets, your relationship will suffer. Sometimes, even the most innocent white lie can damage the bond you’ve struggled so hard to make with the person sitting right next to you. A relationship built on lies reduces confidence levels to a minimum, thus ruining the trust you once shared.
If you feel stuck in your marriage or are unable to express yourself, or you secretly feel unhappy or sexually disconnected and can't seem to change it on your own, consider going to couple’s therapy. Keeping secrets from your spouse and not being able to communicate with them has a lot to do with underlying issues you may not be aware of. Remember, even the smallest of secrets closes off a part of a spouse's heart. Simply knowing that you're being dishonest creates distance.
#2: Jealousy Is a Tough Disease
Jealousy is like a phobia; once you've got it, it's extremely difficult to make it go away. The fear of betrayal can lead to other issues such as distrust and insecurity. This can be a real threat and can be solved by admitting what the problem is.
Openly communicating your feelings, acknowledging that you need to overcome your own issues, and trusting your spouse (and relationship) are some solutions. Otherwise, your marriage is predisposed to failure. Don’t let jealousy become a marriage-eating disease. Talk about your concerns and don’t let your spouse assume you’re hiding something.
If you want your relationship to last, you have to learn to trust yourself first. Be confident that what you can offer to the other person cannot be offered by anyone else. This will give you the strength to fight off those pesky jealous thoughts that keep wandering through your mind.
#3: Financial Issues Can Cause Fallout
Love can be a powerful thing, but one can’t feed or live a comfortable life on love. It’s tough to keep the flame alive when the other partner doesn’t have a job, or doesn’t even strive to get one. When there’s only one person in the family in charge of paying bills, conflict may arise. Financial issues have a way of making people forget all about the love they share for one another. This kind of stress can stifle your relationship, particularly when communication is absent, so seek professional help if you feel that your family's finances are spiraling out of control.
#4: Parenting Disagreements Can Break Your Bond
For any recently married couple, the birth of a child is a true blessing. However, kids can affect the balance now that it's no longer just the two of you. If you and your partner don’t agree on a mutual way to raise and educate the kids, the connection that ties you together will be broken. Having children involves taking responsibility, but it's important to seek alone time together as a couple—and as an individual.
#5: Lack of Communication: The Supreme Enemy of Relationships!
Communication keeps love relationships strong and healthy. No matter how intense the level of affection is, no matter how well you get along, no matter how much you have in common, one thing’s for sure—lack of communication leads to misunderstandings, fights, and sometimes, breakups. When couples don’t communicate anymore, the love and passion they once had for each other vanishes into thin air.
Things will get tough sooner or later, and it’s up for each couple to talk through the problem and find a solution. Don’t let a lack of communication get in the way of your happiness, and look for solutions. Relationship counseling, couple’s therapy, and a dose of empathy—from your side and theirs—may get you back on the right track.
Malini Bhatia is the founder of Marriage.com, a website dedicated to providing value in every marriage. Marriage.com provides resources, information and a community that supports healthly, happy marriages. Malini has global experience in international management and communications, and lives in Los Angeles with her husband of 11 years and two daughters.
You May Also Like:
INFOGRAPHIC: Science of a Happy Relationship - Happy Marriage Tips
5 Secrets to a Happier (and Stronger!) Marriage
The Right (and Wrong) Way to Fight with Your Partner