Acknowledging the People You Notice the Least Could be the Most Important Thing You Can Do to Boost Your Mood TodayNone By Gary Roe
Many of us struggle with depression and sadness. For some, this comes and goes with life situations and circumstances. For others, depression is a cloud that seems to follow us wherever we go.
I believe there are four keys to dealing well with depression, no matter how it manifests itself:
- Processing emotions well
- Practicing good self-care
- Managing relationships in healthy ways
- Taking depression breaks
Most people have heard of the first three. When I mention "depression breaks," however, I tend to get furrowed brows and tilted heads.
Life is tough. Sad things happen. And, sometimes, depression can pay us a visit. That’s when we could use some fresh air. We need depression breaks.
And the best ones I've found come in the form of the people we usually take for granted.
These so-called “invisible people” are everywhere—they are all around us. They fly under the radar. They usually escape our notice. But they are the unsung heroes of our day-to-day. Cashiers, food-service workers, and janitorial staff. Landscapers, construction workers, and sanitation truck drivers. Supermarket shoppers, grocery stockers, and deli workers. Bus drivers, mass transit employees, and customer-service personnel. We blow past many of these people every day and hardly even know they're there.
These often-invisible people have names. They have friends and families they love and care about. They have hearts—and heartaches. They tussle with worry, fear, emotional pain, and guilt.
And yes, chances are they battle depression, too.
You can make a real difference in the lives of often-invisible people while providing some relief for yourself.
Try my three-step “depression break” method and discover the rewards for yourself.
Step One: See
Make the choice to take a break. Breathe deeply. Set your mind to deliberately notice the people you encounter.
Observe them. Note their faces, eyes, and body postures. Notice what they're wearing and what they're doing (without judging). This forces you out of your own head and eases you into the present moment. At that instant, you’re living life in the here and now.
Step Two: Engage
Take the next step. Acknowledge. Take an interest. Let them know you've seen them.
Greet them. Many have name tags. Notice their name and use it.
Names have power. By using their name, we're sending a powerful message: "You matter."
Each person is unique in human history. One of a kind. There has never been another individual exactly like them, and there never will be again. Significant. Valuable. Priceless.
Step Three: Affirm
After engaging them with their name, find a way to affirm and encourage them.
Our world tends to be negative. Most people feel judged, evaluated, and picked apart on a daily basis. Life is hard. Challenges are everywhere. Obstacles abound.
A kind word can cut through the heaviness of life like a hot knife through butter. A thoughtful affirmation can have a stunning, life-lifting impact.
In my work with hospice, I frequently visit assisted-living and skilled nursing facilities. After seeing my patients, I always look for the cleaning staff.
"Thank you for all you do. You're more important than you know."
"You're the reason this place smells so good."
"Keep up the great work. We can't do this without you."
Their responses are priceless. Stunned looks. Open-mouthed stares. Embarrassed but delighted grins. I've even gotten tears and emotional hugs.
I took a break from my own mental spin cycle. I saw them. I used their name. I found a way to affirm them.
You can make someone's day, week, or month in less than 10 seconds. Set your mind to enter their world. Find a way to say, "I see you. You matter."
The results can be extraordinary; not only for them, but also for you.
A New Resolve
As we begin to see the often-invisible people around us, something happens inside. Our hearts expand. A new resolve develops.
We don’t have to live as victims of what happens to us.
We can choose to live as people who see, engage, and affirm.
We can be people who care and love, no matter what.
We can turn pain into purpose. We can use sadness and even depression for good.
Perhaps you feel judged, rejected, and abandoned. You might even feel invisible. Break out by giving away what you need. Make the choice to see, engage, and affirm the often-invisible people out there. As you do, you'll often be seen in return.
The world needs you. Take a depression break today.
Multiple award-winning author, speaker, and grief specialist Gary Roe is a compassionate and trusted voice in grief-recovery who has been bringing comfort, hope, encouragement, and healing to hurting, wounded hearts for more than 30 years. Click here to get his free eBook, Grief: 9 Things I Wish I Had Known.
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