5 Ways to Connect with Your Partner When Life Gets CrazyNone By Malini Bhatia
Quality time with our partner or spouse is often the first thing to be neglected in our overwrought and overscheduled lives. After work, homework, soccer practice, dinner, errands, and whatever else you may have consuming your day, there really isn’t much energy or ambition left to spare for your relationship.
Stress will suck the enjoyment out of your relationship, and it’s important to stay connected with your partner throughout the day so you don’t lose each other in the shuffle. Here are 5 things to try when you feel the quality of your relationship slipping through your fingers.
I’m starting here because intent is the launching pad for everything else. Sometimes life has become so chaotic that the stress and craziness becomes the new normal for your family. In order to change habits and implement something new, you have to consciously tell yourself to do that thing, making it a priority, until it becomes automatic.
Do the Mundane Together
I’m not talking about taking expensive trips or gourmet cooking classes (although they're great to do)—what I mean is small, daily things that you have to do anyway; turn those into a couple’s activity. Have one of you wash the dishes and the other dry, take a shower together, get in the garden and get dirty. Having your spouse there with you can make the mundane a little more fun—plus, you can snatch a few minutes (or more) of alone time together.
Don't Be Afraid of Scheduling Date Nights
And sex if you have to. This bit of advice is given out by relationship experts and therapists all the time, and for good reason. For many of us, our entire lives are scheduled down to the minute, so putting romance on their calendar once a week may be the only way we can make time for intimacy. Make this the one appointment in your life you absolutely cannot reschedule or cancel. And put the phone away!
Take Advantage of the Dead Spots in Your Day
Shut the radio off in the car and chat. You’re a captive audience for 10 minutes, so use that time to catch up and talk or tell stories. Same for making meals, packing lunches, getting dressed, and any other activity that doesn’t require much of your attention to accomplish. It can be a great time to talk to each other.
Find Any Excuse to Touch Each Other
Hug and kiss each other before leaving for work, and do the same when you get home. Touch your partner's arm or hold their hand on the couch. If you walk past them, run your hand down their back. These innocent little touches throughout the day to make a difference. Physical distance creates emotional distance—you can stay connected with your partner by just making physical contact.
Malini Bhatia is the founder of Marriage.com, a website dedicated to providing value in every marriage. Marriage.com provides resources, information and a community that supports healthly, happy marriages. Malini has global experience in international management and communications, and lives in Los Angeles with her husband of 11 years and two daughters.
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