5 Questions to Ask Yourself to Determine What You REALLY WantNone By Homaira Kabir
When working with clients towards their goals, I’ve sometimes experienced a subconscious resistance that seems to be dragging them back every time we try and work on ways to move forward. “I really, really want to change our relationship” or “I desperately want to take charge of my life” seem reasonable and passionate goals, until we discover something much deeper.
This is called “outcome resistance”—when we say we want something, likely because our conscious minds tell us it’s a good thing, but the inaccessible jungle of memories, beliefs and experiences fear the outcome. And until we brave our way into this jungle, it stays like the key knot in a “knot-jam”, tight and resistant. But once we do, and get it to move, we open up the pathways to success pretty quickly.
If there’s an area in your life where you’re not getting the results you "want", it may help to consider your reasons for wanting it.
Ask Yourself: Why Do I Want this Outcome?
“Why” is the most important question we may ever ask. From German philosopher Frederick Neitzsche, who said, “He who has a why can endure any how” to Simon Sinek in his book Start With Why, philosophers and scientists across the ages have emphasized the importance of getting to the core reason driving our actions. When these reasons are intrinsic and important to us, we pursue our goals with passion and grit, and are far more likely to achieve them.
Ask Yourself: What Do I Gain by Getting It?
The path from where we are to where we want to be is not always smooth saili