How to Stop Obsessing Over the Outcome and Follow Your Dreams NowNone By Shannon Kaiser
We secretly wait in vain on the path to becoming our better self. We want to become the person who has reached the goal, the relationship, the healthy weight, or abundant bank account. We believe we are almost there but just not quite. This is the almost-paradise syndrome. I have a friend who’s talked about winning the lottery for the past twenty years. She always says, “When I win the lottery, I will buy a new car. When I win the lottery, I will invest in the self-development online program I’ve always wanted to take.” It is always when I “get,” then I will “do.” I always want to say, “Why don’t you do that now? Why is the lottery standing in your way?” Truth be told, if you really wanted it, couldn’t you find a way to get it now? Yes, in fact this is the mindset we want to adopt. In order to reach our true potential, we have to show up for ourselves in the present by following through on our dreams right now, not later.
When we say things like “When I win the lottery, when I lose weight or meet my soul mate, then I will be happy,” we are subconsciously sending a message to ourselves that we don’t matter and our desires are not a worthy pursuit. Meaning, we are waiting for external factors: the lottery, the boss to give us the raise, another person to fill the romantic void, etc. In doing this we are settling. I call this the almost-paradise syndrome. The almost-paradise is the pursuit of becoming but with an attention on lack. We want something that has not yet arrived, so we focus more on how it is not here. This lack builds up and prevents us from further pursuing our true desires. It keeps us in a